Most of us want to increase our physical activity. Some of us are equipped to do super lunges while shoulder pressing a Buick Skylark over our heads but for those of us that prefer less vigorous activity, walking works just fine. Below is a link to an article from the Mayo Clinic that features the benefits of walking as well as some strategies to make those walks more effective.
We’ve probably all heard a coworker, friend, or family member attribute their new found peace to the practice of gratitude. Maybe at times we are even able to do it ourselves. The article below shares the benefits associated with the principle of gratitude.
“Mom and Dad were so much tougher on me.” We’ve heard this before or maybe we even said it. Is it true? Maybe, but probably not. The link below is a Freakonomics Radio podcast featuring psychologists Thomas Gilovich and Shai Davidai. They discuss our general tendency to think that we have it harder than others; our bias to focus on our barriers rather than our advantages. Take a listen.
South Bay connect Treatment Center is unique, since we have a codependency program that one may participate in even if their family member is not attending our substance abuse treatment program. Often family members will first receive their own treatment before the individual abusing substances receives the necessary help. The whole family system must learn how to not revolve around substance abuse and redefine the family system meaning and purpose.
One of Reconnect’s 2 Founders, Alicia MacGowan, LCSW, LAADC, CAI, will be facilitating these groups. Alicia has been working with codependency since 1992 in a variety of settings. She has found in her own psychotherapy practice and the Interventions that she has facilitated that long-term change in the substance abuse family system cannot be achieved until everyone involved with the substance abuser receives their own help. As an Interventionist, she has worked with family members to help motivate their loved ones to change. She knows and appreciates the challenges everyone faces when trying to overcome addiction. She and Dr. Tsuang envisioned a treatment model whereby the family and friends of the substance abuser simultaneously are receiving their own treatment. This is a model that they have piloted in their own private practices with exceptional outcomes.
Benefits of the new innovative treatment model, “Family Addiction Model for Treatment”:
Treatment Outcomes – When the entire family is involved in substance abuse, treatment helps increase engagement rate for entry into treatment, reduced dropout rates, better outcomes and prevents relapse for the individual abusing substances. Family Recovery – Involvement of families broadens the focus to other family issues, not merely the substance abuse. Both the substance abuser and the family obtain the necessary help from an addiction specialist and maintain abstinence.
Patient Recovery – After visiting a treatment center, family members who are willing and actively support the affected member to recover enhance the possibility of a successful, durable recovery. The patient recovers from codependency behaviors including uncontrollable emotional reactions, fear of rejection, inability to build loving relationships, and more. The substance abuser learns the necessary day-to-day skills to manage daily stressors without the use of alcohol and drugs.
Intergenerational Impact – The new innovative treatment model can help minimize the effect and recurrence of drug use disorders in various generations.
This model treats several problems of codependency and substance abuse to produce better results. Finally, this model accommodates the each family’s unique needs and seeks to understand the core issues for everyone in the family in order to promote recovery, hope and change.
If a loved one is suffering from substance abuse and refusing to get help. You can join our codependency program at South Bay connect Treatment Center to help you restore your life.
New Innovative Treatment Model
South Bay connect Treatment Center is unique, since we have a codependency program that one may participate in even if their family member is not attending our substance abuse treatment program. Often family members will first receive their own treatment before the individual abusing substances receives the necessary help. The whole family system must learn how to not revolve around substance abuse and redefine the family system meaning and purpose.
One of South Bay connect’s 2 Founders, Alicia MacGowan, LCSW, LAADC, CAI, will be facilitating these groups. Alicia has been working with codependency since 1992 in a variety of settings. She has found in her own psychotherapy practice and the Interventions that she has facilitated that long-term change in the substance abuse family system cannot be achieved until everyone involved with the substance abuser receives their own help. As an Interventionist, she has worked with family members to help motivate their loved ones to change. She knows and appreciates the challenges everyone faces when trying to overcome addiction. She and Dr. Tsuang envisioned a treatment model whereby the family and friends of the substance abuser simultaneously are receiving their own treatment. This is a model that they have piloted in their own private practices with exceptional outcomes.
Benefits of the new innovative treatment model, “Family Addiction Model for Treatment”:
• Treatment Outcomes – When the entire family is involved in substance abuse, treatment helps increase engagement rate for entry into treatment, reduced dropout rates, and better outcomes and prevents relapse for the individual abusing substances.
• Family Recovery – Involvement of families broadens the focus to other family issues, not merely the substance abuse. Both the substance abuser and the family obtain the necessary help from an addiction specialist and maintain abstinence.
• Patient Recovery – After visiting a treatment center, family members who are willing and actively support the affected member to recover enhance the possibility of a successful, durable recovery. The patient recovers from codependency behaviors including uncontrollable emotional reactions, fear of rejection, inability to build loving relationships, and more. The substance abuser learns the necessary day-to-day skills to manage daily stressors without the use of alcohol and drugs.
• Intergenerational Impact – The new innovative treatment model can help minimize the effect and recurrence of drug use disorders in various generations.
This model treats several problems of codependency and substance abuse to produce better results. Finally, this model accommodates the each family’s unique needs and seeks to understand the core issues for everyone in the family in order to promote recovery, hope and change.
If a loved one is suffering from substance abuse and refusing to get help. You can join our codependency program at South Bay connect Treatment Center to help you restore your life.
It is a transition most parents will experience at some point in time and one that many face with bittersweet sentiment. Anxiety, worry, sadness and loss are just some of the feelings that parents are confronted with when their children leave home for the first time. Though most parents hope their children will grow up to be strong, independent and successful individuals, the process of letting go can be quite painful. By learning healthy ways of coping with empty nest syndrome, parents can more easily navigate this challenging season and learn to better accept the process.
Tips for Coping with Empty Nest Syndrome
Recognize Your Relationship is Changing – Not Fading
Nothing will ever change the relationship and bond you have established over the two decades your child has spent in your home. Realize that while your role and responsibility as a parent may be evolving, it is not disappearing. Your children will always need you in some capacity, though it may look different than it did while they lived at home. In the same way a teenager does not need the constant supervision of a toddler or the diaper changes of a newborn, your adult child will have decreasing needs as well. However, your child will still look to you for guidance, love and support as he or she navigates the exciting, but sometimes scary changes that come with growing up.
Be Proud of How Far You have Come
Instead of viewing a child’s departure from home as a loss, recognize it as an accomplishment instead. Be proud that you have raised goal-oriented children who are making decisions and taking proactive steps toward the life they want. Moving away from home is a sign of healthy growth and an indication that you have done your job to prepare your child to begin standing on his or her own two feet.
Start a New Chapter in Life
Whether your children have already left home or will do so in the next few months or years, it is never too early to begin preparing for the transition. Take time to start talking with your spouse about the future and some of the goals you would like to achieve together and individually. Plan a weekend away to rekindle your romance and get to know each other all over again.
It may also help to begin making a list of interests and hobbies you would like to expand upon, as well as other roles you would like to take on or better develop. Perhaps this means spending more time growing your business, volunteering with a charity or joining a shared interest group. Try to think of activities and pastimes you enjoyed before having children or come up with new ones that spark your interest.
Just be sure to take the transition slowly, avoiding any major changes all at once. Adapting to an empty nest takes time. Jumping into other major life changes simultaneously, like down-sizing to a new home, might complicate the adjustment process.
Process Your Emotions
Remember that it is completely normal to feel grief when a child leaves home. Allow yourself to feel emotion, crying when you need to cry and talking when you need to talk. It may help to find support with other empty-nesters by discussing their own experiences with empty nest syndrome and how they were able to cope. Simply talking about your feelings and allowing yourself to feel the pain of a child leaving home is often enough to help bring closure to the situation and relieve the pressure of suppressed emotions. However, it is important to also press forward by maintaining normal routines and keeping up self-care.
Empty Nest Syndrome Linked to Increased Risk of Substance Abuse
Unfortunately, empty nest syndrome can produce severe consequences – especially for those who have found their sense of identity or purpose in raising or spending time with their children. Stay-at-home-mothers are especially vulnerable to these types of feelings, as they may struggle to fill the large void left by the constant presence and companionship of their children. The mental and physical exertion is only compounded when women at this age are also facing other major stress factors, such as aging parents, a looming retirement and menopause.
Research has shown that people who experience empty nest syndrome are at an increased risk of becoming depressed and turning to substances like prescription drugs or alcohol as a means of coping. When a person becomes dependent on substances to feel better, professional intervention is necessary. Signs of a potential drug or alcohol problem include:
Missing work, family gatherings or social functions due to the use of a substance
Increased conflict in relationships due to the use of a substance
Severe mood swings or irritability
Lack of motivation
Secretive behaviors, including unexplained financial problems or bank withdrawals
Changes in weight or appetite
Poor hygiene or appearance
If you or someone you know has turned to substances as a means of coping with empty nest syndrome, help is available. Regardless of how strong an addiction may be or how empty you may feel, the journey to sobriety can start today. Do not wait to get the help you deserve. Contact RecoveryNow, Inc. today for more information and to find out how you can take the first step toward a fulfilling and meaningful future.
Many people live in codependency for many years or even decades with realizing the unhealthy nature of their relationships. In its simplest form, codependency is a behavioral pattern in which a person becomes reliant upon the approval of others. People in codependent relations typically have a low sense of self-worth and find their identity in meeting the needs of others rather than from themselves. In fact, most feel their entire sense of purpose comes from another person, which often spurs an intense desire to control the other person’s actions or responses within the relationship.
There are many symptoms of codependency, all of which may manifest in different ways. People within codependent relationships may feel as though their intense ‘need’ for one another is a sign of strong love, when it is actually an unhealthy relationship rooted in control and neediness.
Codependent relationships are made up of two types of people: takers and caretakers. Takers are controllers who use anger, neediness or other emotions to manipulate those close to them. They are often attracted to caretakers, who put their own needs aside for the sake of caring for others. By making these sacrifices, the caretaker believes he or she will gain approval, love and acceptance. They stay in unhealthy relationships believing that eventually their disregard of self will lead to a positive result.
Symptoms of caretakers in codependent relationships include people who feel:
Extreme desire for approval or recognition
Responsible for the needs of others
Difficulty with confrontation
Lack of trust in others
A fear of abandonment
While anyone can become codependent, people with a history of abuse or neglect are at an increased risk. In many cases, codependency is a learned behavior passed on from a parent or caregiver who themselves were codependent. For example, a person who was yelled at, abused and neglected as a child may have developed ‘caretaker’ tendencies in response to the ‘taker’ behaviors of the parent. This can establish a life-long pattern of earning love or affection from other people.
People within a codependent relationship may love each other, but they will find that the prevailing emotion within the relationship is always anxiety. Ultimately, codependent relationships enable dysfunction and prevent personal growth and development.
Developing Healthy Relationships
The first step in developing a healthy relationship is recognizing codependency for what it is and where it comes from. A person who finds themselves in one or more codependent relationships does not always have to end those associations, but instead must learn to set boundaries and find happiness in individuality.
Codependent relationship expert, Pia Mellody, claims that the origins of all forms of codependency are found in childhood, whether because of physical, emotional or sexual abuse. She believes that codependent people can go onto to have healthy and satisfying relationships once they find healing for their ‘inner child’.
According to Melody Beattie, another codependency expert, people in codependent relationships must stop consuming themselves with other people and instead redirect that attention to themselves. She reinterprets the famous 12-step program developed by Alcoholics Anonymous and adapts it to people with codependency issues. This course of action highlights the need to reconnect with oneself and establish healthy limits in existing and future relationships.
Anyone experiencing codependency issues should seek help from a professional. Treatment often involves therapy, communication with partners, and even time apart from other people or obligations to establish a sense of independence. A codependent person may also benefit from broadening new relationships and finding new individual hobbies. With help, anyone can have healthy relationships and lead a mature life free of codependency.
Buddha once said, “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” Unfortunately, most people do not live in the moment – they live in their heads, directly affecting the way in which a person experiences life. Constant worry about the future or scrutiny over the past creates a never-ending personal dialogue that diverts healthy growth and distracts from what is happening now.
Few people live fully present in every moment of every day. As a result, several areas of life suffer, including emotional health, physical health, weight and productivity. Many people spend their lives chasing quantity – the next vacation, promotion or stage of life – rather than pursuing quality of time in the present. By instead living in the moment, each minute is fully appreciated, prolonging its value and making it more meaningful.
3 Tips for Living in the Moment
It isn’t easy for a person to be fully present. It requires a state of consciousness and awareness that a person must practice with intention. Living in the moment is about giving undivided attention to every person and complete focus to every task. Everything – including rest – should be fully embraced and savored.
Don’t dwell on the past.
Concentrating on the past can rob you of the moment at hand. Living in the past and its difficulties robs you of trusting the present and future. It is impossible to change any past event. The only way of coping with past hurts and experiences is by accepting them, learning from them, and moving on with life.
Avoid worrying about the future.
It is impossible to live in the moment if you are worrying about the outcome of that moment or of some future event. Fears about the future are common and often stem from wrong thinking or past experiences. It is difficult to be fully present if you are fearful of going broke, losing a loved one, experiencing failure or being rejected. While some fears are natural, allowing them to control life experiences, modulate behaviors or limit your dreams is a tragedy.
Slow down
One of the easiest ways to begin living in the moment is by slowing down and enjoying the process, rather than the destination. Learn relaxation techniques, such as meditation, to help focus your mind and quiet the ‘noise’ around you. Take time to notice your surroundings, and make it a point to listen attentively to conversation, the sounds of nature, or even silence.
Embrace Every Moment
Learning to live in the moment is a process worth undertaking. Over time, you’ll feel less as if though life is passing you by and much more connected with yourself and other people. You may also experience a greater appreciation for life and less fearful or anxious about the circumstances behind and ahead of you. It does not mean you fail to set goals for the future or reflect upon the past; but rather that you allow yourself to feel every moment as it unfolds.
New Year’s Day is a time to turn over a new leaf and resolve to do the things we wish we would have been doing all along. Americans love making New Year’s resolutions, perhaps because January 1st signifies the beginning of a clean slate. But after the ball drops and the confetti has fallen, the dust settles on an uphill climb toward personal ambitions and the desire for self-improvement.
Unfortunately, many of those goals are difficult to attain and sometimes completely unrealistic. It is not so much that the goals themselves are bad, but that the means by which a person plans to achieve them are impractical and unlikely to produce success. Many people hit the ground running day one, only to run out of steam within months, weeks or even days of the New Year. According to research from the University of Scranton, approximately half of Americans make resolutions each year, yet only 8 percent succeed in reaching their goals.
The list of specific resolutions varies from person to person, but there are some widespread commonalities between most Americans. Of the top 10 most common resolutions, the majority are related to improving personal health and relationships. Examples include:
Losing weight
Staying fit or healthy
Quitting or moderating use of alcohol, drugs or tobacco products
Spending more time with family
Falling in love
Helping others
Achieving New Year’s Resolution Success
Only you can determine whether you reach your New Year’s goals, though there are some steps you can take to increase your chances of success. If you are planning to make changes in the upcoming year, follow these tips to improve your chance of reaching your goals.
Set realistic goals. New Year’s resolution lists should not be a mile long or filled with over-the-top goals that that are impossible to achieve. The American Psychological Association recommends starting small. Perhaps this means smoking two less packs of cigarettes per week or going to the gym three days a week instead of seven. The APA also cautions against reassessing every area of life you desire change in. Instead, pick one thing to change, and focus all of your resolution efforts toward achieving that one, manageable goal.
Break big goals into smaller goals. When a big goal is broken up into smaller goals, it is much easier to measure success along the way. For example, if you have a goal of losing 50 pounds in the coming year, create 10-pound milestones, and celebrate those smaller achievements. The creation of small objectives within a larger goal provides a measure of success and forces you to evaluate your achievements according to the progress you are making throughout the year.
Make a plan. Planning is another important element of successfully holding to your New Year’s resolutions. A resolution almost always involves modifying behaviors that have become habitual. Changing bad habits takes time, and there are sure to be slip-ups along the way. Instead of holding yourself to impossible standards, anticipate the areas you are most likely to make mistakes, and take steps to avoid them. Perhaps that means packing a healthy snack to eat when hunger strikes at work. Maybe it means setting aside one or two specific nights every month to have dinner with family or friends. Whatever your goal, a plan should emphasize your strengths while limiting your exposure to moments of weakness.
It is a transition most parents will experience at some point in time and one that many face with bittersweet sentiment. Anxiety, worry, sadness and loss are just some of the feelings that parents are confronted with when their children leave home for the first time. Though most parents hope their children will grow up to be strong, independent and successful individuals, the process of letting go can be quite painful. By learning healthy ways of coping with empty nest syndrome, parents can more easily navigate this challenging season and learn to better accept the process.
